Hosting A Very Hot Date
A collaboration post with Sophia Strawser from "In Need of Attention", with recipes.
Look we know it’s *cuffing season*—or shall we say mid-cuffing season? You’ve successfully made it through the holidays, and when picnicing in Central Park is far from reality, the dreadful chill of January might force you to host a cozy date to cook together. The terror! Cooking for someone (especially someone you want to impress) can be so daunting—even for someone like me who cooks for a living. This week I give you a satirical guest collaboration post to put words to the occasion, written by Sophia Strawser of In Need of Attention, followed by a coordinating recipe for my Salted Almond Dark Chocolate Cookie.
It was time for a fourth date. If my mother had her way, the fourth date would be a small wedding ceremony surrounded by 200 of my closest friends and family. And although forcing my loved ones to buy me a Smeg toaster makes me absolutely mad with power, I decided that I’d cook for him, hopefully making him think, “now that’s wife material,” or some other slightly sexist phrase.
I needed to plan a menu–one that said, “please put up with my baggage because I’m willing to put up with yours.” One that gave notes of “I’ll put up with your mother if you overlook my Amazon purchases.” That tasted like “we live in an expensive city–let’s split rent.”
The menu for the evening both thrilled and terrified me. As I prepped the cookie dough and cocktail, my intrusive thoughts were coming in hot. What if my knife skills land me in the ER? Or I burn the entree? What if it all tastes like crap? Or worst of all, what if I can’t hold a titillating conversation while cooking?
A buzz of my intercom and I knew it was showtime. I swung open the door to a freshly laundered man holding the pint of ice cream I had asked him to bring alongside a bouquet of flowers (writing this beyond the grave. Cause of death: male effort).
I’ve heard that men love a task and apparently calling me drop dead gorgeous every four to seven minutes isn’t enough of a lift so I put him on chopping. He handled the fennel salad, our first course (yes, courses! It’s giving “I’m getting engaged” vibes), while I was over by the oven working on the roast chicken. (Somewhere on a farm in PA my Mennonite Grandmother is really, really proud of me).
A welcomed crutch, we nursed our batched cocktails. If the food turned out poorly, my plan was to hit him with a heavy pour. I peppered in some preplanned conversation prompts, as we brought the food to the table.
“If I suddenly turned into a worm halfway through this date would you leave or finish out the date first?” I asked deadpan.
“I would stay and then ask you for a fifth date. Maybe a picnic in a really muddy patch of dirt.” Well, well, well if that isn’t the absolute correct answer.
The evening began to fly by. We were nestled on the couch with the cookies that I slipped into the oven somewhere between chats about embarrassing college stories and bites of roast chicken. As I enjoyed the ease of our conversation, I began flirting with the thought of leaving my career in pursuit of my newest passion–fourth date cooking.
Halfway through my warm cookie and ice cream and I thought this could be the one. The cookie that is.
“I feel like cooking for fourth dates could be your full time job.”
Ok fine, he could be the one too.
Now although I plan to be back to frequent air fryer use by date ten, the night was a major success. I fed a man and he didn’t die. I learned a variety of new dishes and I looked hot doing it (she said humbly). Now excuse me, I have some leftover cookies calling my name.
About Sophia Strawser
Sophia Strawser is an NYC based writer, actress, and producer. After studying Performance and T.V. and Film Writing in undergrad, she received a master’s in Performance at Mason Gross School of the Arts at Rutgers University. After graduating, she went on to study improv and sketch with Upright Citizens Brigade, late night writing with Second City, and stand up with American Comedy Institute. She’s had short plays featured in festivals around the city, her web series, Tipping Point, accepted as an official selection in the Hell’s Kitchen Film Festival, and was an artist in residence at the Chateau Orquevaux in France. Over the past few years, she’s worked in the comedy space with a column in Ac Magazine called Life in Stitches, as well as her weekly satire substack, In Need of Attention. Currently she is the producer, writer, and lead actress in the Shahla Karimi social media episodic, The One. Episodes are released Monday mornings on both her and Shahla Karimi’s Instagrams. @SophiaStrawser and @ShahlaKarimi_Jewelry.
Table Questions
Okay to go along with the theme, I’ve added some questions, both playful and intentional, for you to whip out on your next date, though you can pull up any issue of Anyone Can Host for more:
What is your favorite food combination you enjoy but other people might think is weird?
What is a creative passion you used to excel in or enjoy, that you’ve lost touch with?
What are some of your daily rhythms or local routines that bring you joy?
How do you typically handle stress?
Who taught you the most about love when you were growing up?
If your friends saw you on the street having a fight with someone what would they assume it was about? (This one’s from Sophia.)
From the Kitchen
The aforementioned Fennel Salad. Just make sure no one goes to the emergency room using that mandolin—although what’s a date without a little risk?
Since these cookies need to sit in the fridge for 24 hours, they’re the perfect addition to make in advance for a dinner party or date night. Pull them out and bake them fresh!
Salted Almond Dark Chocolate Cookie
Makes 14-16 Cookies
*GF/DF option below
Ingredients:
1 stick butter (1/2 cup) at room temperature
2/3 cup crunchy almond butter (I usually use salted)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups (280g) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped into chunks
(I buy the massive “Pound Plus” 72% cacao dark chocolate bars from Trader Joe’s with the red wrapper and go to town chopping them. All the little shards make for a perfectly marbled cookie)Maldon or other flaky sea salt
*To make DF, GF, replace Coconut Oil instead of Butter and Almond Flour instead of Flour. Some say the coconut oil makes it even more aromatic and better than the original. Try both and tell me your thoughts!
Instructions:
With beaters or a stand mixer, mix butter, almond butter, and sugars for 2-3 minutes, until fluffy.
Add the egg, the yolk, and vanilla, and beat, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl to make sure all ingredients are incorporated.
Add in flour, salt and baking soda. Mix until just combined, then add the chopped chocolate and all its shards. Do not overmix. It’s a lot of chocolate. Embrace it.
Roll or scoop into balls and refrigerate overnight. (Or, if you’re like me and you procrastinate, roll into balls and stick in the freezer for as long as you can, before you have to bake them.)
Preheat the oven to 325ºF. Cover two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats. Place the dough balls evenly spaced on the baking sheets. Give them more space than you think. I usually do 5-6 per baking sheet, depending on how large the cookies are.
Bake the cookies, until golden brown around the edges but still slightly underdone and pale in the center. They’ll continue to firm up on the baking sheet after you pull from the oven, so underdone is always better. About 8-10 minutes for smaller cookies, and 10-14 minutes for larger cookies. Remove from the oven, sprinkle with flaky sea salt, and let cookies cool on the baking sheet. Repeat with the next baking sheet.
A Little Housekeeping
Can’t find the newsletter? It might be hiding out in your spam folder, so be sure to mark this address as "not spam." If it's still playing hard to get, check your Promotions tab. And don’t worry—you can always catch up on everything over on the website!
 | A guest post by
|
LOVE!!
Fave collab of the year <3